My emotion

For sometimes now I didn't update the blog and when I wanted to jot down my thoughts, the site said "my certificate is invalid". What the **** happen? I tried to rectify and I guess by this posting I've succeed. So, what's new?

As for me, everyday is a learning experiences, discoveries and life never cease to fascinate. I like to see good in everything or at least try to but the journey also unfold the evil in people and sad to say in myself too. I am an emotional person; every one in the family knows that, even Beth find it amuse when I cry in front of that "Box". I used to be discreet but when the truth was out and self acceptance came in - I have learned to let go. Now I cry like nobody business and Little Brother will turn a 'sob' drama to a stand-up comedy (sucker!!!). The truth will set you free!! Try it people, it is so liberating - just prepare a box of tissue paper then you are all set. LOL!!!!!

A month ago, I 'stepped" on the MOTH's tail. It was his Futsal night and I was out with friends. Earlier, I told him I would be done before he know it and his game normally starts late. Yeah.. we gals talked, talked... and lost track of time. Reached home, said sorry and for sure I got the silent treatment!!!

I hate the silent treatment. I've been through it for so many times but this time it was the longest - 2 weeks (now you understand why I am not the 1st in his life. Sad....) Should feel resentful, right? But I didn't want to be dragged in an emotional turmoil where it would just leave scars in my life. I didn't want to have to handle it on my own - I was tired...

Lebih dari nafasku

Ku perlukan KasihMU

Peganglah tangan ku

Berjalanlah di samping ku, Bapa

untuk selamanya.....

I can't, I wouldn't...

So, I just lifted it all to HIM....

He said 'REST'....

I let go....

I learned a bit of myself in that 2 weeks in regards to marriage. I didn’t like the feeling of not having the “support” from the MOTH. I can still do it but the whole idea of marriage or should I say being marriage is having a partner (breathing) who shares and accept each other and especially when you being married for 10 years being grumpy is not a turn-on!!!!. I do or say something hurtful, show me how you feel, go a head, argue, trash it out with me – we might not agree but go to bed in peace. I do not need a baby that suck the life out of me. It’s tiring.

The closest in the family were aware of the situation – especially mom, who understood better this time. Previously, it was always my fault and I get sermons. Thanks Mom and Lil Bro for listening and supporting. Lil Bro might not agree 100% but because I am his sister, he’s always on my side. I love you guys. Isk….isk… isk….

During that period of “silence”, we had a steamboat dinner, a short travel to Bintulu by the MOTH and a funeral. Not bad for a family unit that were in crisis!!!

Why am I sharing this? Well….

Last night, I said something that made the MOTH’s face turned and until this morning…..