How do you measure a happy marriage?

Or even success for that matter. Does having loads of monies or materials things leads to it and does that really counts?

You must be wondering where I am going with this questions. Well…. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately (pardon my absence; apart from having a corrupted PC, I have been busy being busy..).

I have a colleague who is still single and our goal for this year is to find him a good girl to marry. So that’s our target this year. So far he went to one(1) blind date. She was introduced by a kopitiam taukey to him; very nice and good girl (mind you, she’s a Pastor). Unfortunately, no spark flew during the date and I was the most frustrated one – as if…… I mean this guy ever told me the reason he is not committing himself is because he is afraid that he will turn out to be like most of his friends – Separated or divorced. It upset him so much; he gets cold feet when he thinks of commitment.

“For riches or for poorer, In sickness or in health, till death do us part…” Marriages… It is so sacred to me that I can’t even think my life without the other half. I believe in a marriage constitution, I believe in keeping and staying forever in ones marriages – until death do us part. I learn this from my own mom.

There was a period of time when I was the only one home with my parent and I’ve seen how at that time dad ‘ill-treated’ mom and she just could not do anything because Dad is ALL to her and she need to stay for our sake but I guess the truth was then women didn’t had the guts to say ‘that’s it, enough is enough, I am leaving you!!!’. I am glad Mom stayed and I am happy they found HIM in time to understand that although they gets on each other’s nerve they have a mission to complete and came to the realization that they will grow old together. That really requires a lot of patience but now she ‘tormented’ him by ignoring him when he is in one of those moods!!! Bravo mom.. Power to the woman…

One important rule I learn from Mom is quoted from the Bible itself. It says whenever you are angry, don’t bring it in until the sun set (Ephesians 4:26) – I tell you; it is easier said than done. But I will surely get it if she finds out I drag it. Love is not enough, people…. Even so much more – immaturities. Guys wake up!!! These are the era where women are empowered. They discovered they don’t necessary need a husband or a man in their life. They have learned to be independent, knowledgeable and some even brings the bread home. Think twice if you intend to flirt…….;) You know who you are. Don’t even think to give her a second grading in your list. She is the most important person in your life – not your car, your games or your pets!!! Cherish her, shower her with all the attention; she will appreciate it and when you have children, be the strength, the fortress, the foundation for your family. Be involved.

I don’t know which is harder, keeping a marriage or letting it go……

I heard this a few days ago. It is in regards of mending a relationship. “We don’t just make it stick (together) but we make it glued. If it still doesn’t stick that means the pieces doesn’t fit.”

I am sorry for my friends that had to let go… My heart goes out to you for I care and I believe you deserve the best of best God can give you. I was and still saddened by it so much. It is harder if you have kids; unless they have grown up and you are able to make senses.

I wouldn’t judge you. Do what makes you happy. For once, do it because it is for you – you deserve it. It wouldn’t be easy initially but like what I told you, gear up all your support system – some may not agree with what you are doing and when you are unsure don’t only depends on your guts feeling, look-up more to the divine intervention, have peace, pick up the pieces and go on.