I do not know how to tell you of my feeling nor do I know where to start. Never in my life have I received such adoration, admiration and pure sweet naiveness. I am talking about my son Ezra. When I came back from work last Friday, he shared that the Math's teacher slapped him just because he did not do his "vertical form" in his math's paper. He claimed he didn't cry, only that his eye near his cheek where the teacher left red fingers marked were a bit wet.... :(

I do not 'abuse' my children by slapping their faces. I do pull ears and canning them on their legs, butt even hands and palms. So when somebody else decided to leave their palm's mark on my kid's face, I get emo.... Who dare to slapped by baby.... I carried him in my stomach for eight months. I went through period of dizziness, nausea, bloated feet and face, water retention, morning sickness while carrying him yet it was such a joy knowing that he is the perfect gift given especially for me (James 1:17), a gift I've longed and prayed for. You are talking about my child, my beloved..

This was the issue that I actually wanted to raise during the PTA meeting. I've heard of this particular teacher's tantrum and I wanted it to stop before my kid had his share - he's not such an angel either.... I was actually wrong when I said PTA is not the platform. When it involves my child's education and his well being in school, PTA should be one of the channel to voice out concern. In stead they chose to be brought down by silly issues that even doesn't reflect unity - for example, last year they only did a ramah-tamah aidil fihtri and why? The answer by the vice president even amused me; majority of the student are Muslims. Duh!!!!!! Where is your sensitivity. This is not even a Sekolah Pondok or Sekolah Agama. This is a Missionary School, started by Christians who realised the needs and how important it was to educate the people be it Chinese, Iban, Bidayuh or even Malays and it was out of selfishness and an act of love. I can go on... Somebody please stop me....

I called the class teacher, who at first was very reluctant to take up my case. I understand from my boy, she did approached him to find out on his side of the story. That was on Monday and until today, I am still waiting for her call....

The thing that amuses me most are how our children take comfort, look-up highly and trusting us the parents to handle their problems. When my son found out that I will confront the teacher, he was so happy as if saying 'now she;s going to get it! You don't know who you are dealing with!. You are dealing with my mom - the Queen, the goddess in my household', then he was at peace....

I dread the day when I would not be able to be there for him, to help him solve problems and just letting him know - it's ok, I will handle this for you... But in the process I do hope I do not pampered the boy so much until he is so depended on me. I would not want to handicapped him like that. When that time comes, will he still look-up to me? Will he still sees me as his Knight in shinning armour?

I guess sooner or later it is I, myself that actually have to let go. As long as I still keep him under my wings, he would not be able to gain the strength to fly but until that time, I think I am happy to know such a creature so dependent on me. Let me enjoy that feeling because I know I will die a little bit every time I let go even though just a tiny bit.....