Actually it is not her fault. I find Fiona rather amusing sometimes. Although going through problems of her own (who isn't), she keeps my feet grounded and feeding me spiritual food and for that I thank you.
The Moth is involve with the TYT birthday's parade (this Saturday). So every morning since Tuesday, the kids and I will pick Dad up to send us to school and work, in Anddy's car. And for that 3 days; 45 minutes drive, I had to endure comments upon comments from him. If it wasn't for my tardiness for being late (not in one of those days the children were late!!!), it would be the way I parked, the route I took and even the traffic policemen.
Day 1 was ok. I told him to bear with me for another few days. Day 2, I told MYSELF to bear with him for another day. And today, the devil in me got loose.......
All I want to say is, "Dad, I am sorry for yelling and saying those words to you, but at that moment I feel nothing I did was good enough for you! It was soooo like you. I remember many years back, we were driving home; just the two of us; you were telling me how disappointed you are in me for not being able to go to local Universities to further my study and I remember I cried because I feel like I'd failed you - I was 19. That episode of life are always at the back of my head and it will replayed every time when ever the episode like this morning occur. It's ok now Dad. I am just sorry it happened and I want you to know that I still I love you because you are my Abba."
2 decades later, the bitterness surface. Maybe it's a good thing, now the inner healing should start. I always know that God has a purpose for me, even when I didn't further my study. I didn't want to. The desire was not there and I never regretted. That scroll would be nice - I don't think I need it to prove to man because by the end of if, it is He who provides and matter most.
Just to let YOU know, I don't hold grudges towards my own dad. The blood is thicker than water and no matter how disgusted we as children feel about it, we are the one that have to live with him. So dad, I pray that we will accept our differences, accept the fact that we need each other and that the good Lord will give you a good health and live to see Boy, Gigel, Bujang, Jaja and Girl graduate and walk the aisle........ Amen.
