Happy Birthday Jesus!!!!!

I am who I am today because of the sacrifices He made for me when He hanged on that cross. So it is just fair that my whole life is dedicated to Him. I want so much to be like Zacchaeus, knowing how short he was and how people hated him because he was a tax collector; climbed the Sycamore tree, just to see this "famous" man knowing perfectly well he would not be noticed. But hey, you know what, He called him by name - he knew Zacchaeus and He wants to stay in his house. And I want so much to share how that woman felt - that woman; who sold herself to earn a living by selling her body but every time she laid on her back it took a bit of her away and it destroyed her emotionally and spiritually. She anointed His feet with her tears and the ointment she bought with her one year earning laying on her back, but no critictism came from Him.

How beautiful this child that was born today two thousand years ago. He looks beyond your appearance, beyond oneself and the only reason He did it was because He loves us and that is enough for me.

Happy Birthday Jesus......

WASSSSSSappppppp!!!!!!!

My elder brother got married this morning. Yeah, my estranged brother. Never thought in a million years he'll do this kind of thing but everybody is glad for at least it will give him the sense of responsibility; not that he is not but now he has a "family" to take care of.

Terry Toda married May Ann Padilla this morning in a Civil Court; just a simple ceremony witnessed by the whole family . The morning started with Snah and I being the Mak Andam terjun. Although the whole ordeal was a bit messy (nothing new when it comes to this brother) but that is just the way we are; at least we did it as a family. His journey in uniting with his wife is also not an easy journey. It started I guess in August 2010 when they fell in love with each other. We only met May in June(correct me if I am wrong). May is from the Philippines; they flew to KL twice just to get the clearance by the Philippines and Malaysian authorities. They only got the green light 2 weeks ago with every body's delight especially mom.

So, here to you Mr. & Mrs Igat. Congratulations!!! and may you be blessed with many memories and the tapping of little feet..... We share your happiness.

The family will be welcoming the new edition to the family; Jeremiah(so he says) in March 2012.

So the new chapter of life begins.......

Since November, my weekends were emmm, how should i put it; hectic?, fulfilling?, busy?, tiring? And it is also that time of the year when you have lots of PARTYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were in Miri for cuz Mimi's wedding.It was an in-prompt-to kind of thing until lil' bro pressed the "enter" key on Air Asia website. Still, i don't think I regretted. Travelling with the kids this time around were fun. They are bigger this time unlike 3 years ago when I brought them for a trip to KL. This was our 1st trip to Miri ever (except for the MOTH who had a week's attachment when he was working with his last company)

***picture by David Toda*****

So, to Mimi and Ronnie, welcome to the club and may your lives be blessed with lots of little Mimis and Ronnies.

It was the 1st time that we met Jareth too. He is the latest edition to the family; the MOTH's nephew. He is so adorable; for a while was a nice feeling to be able to hold a baby.

And of coz we loved the sunset at Luak Bay.......


and our stayed at the Park Everly......


and we enjoyed Hayden's birthday (Jareth's elder brother).....


It was a good trip and I would like to thank my sister-in-law Senorita and the family and Freda Godeng and the family for their hospitality. Moga kalau ada rezeki, kita akan pegi dan buat lagi ok.

I AM BACK!!!!

Not that I was so busy but after checking my FB and e-mails, I just couldn't bring myself to open up and share and pour out all my emotion for public to know... Not that I've never done it before but writing a blog is hard work man... Not only do you need to think about the consequences of you exposing yourself but of others who might feel the emotions. Where do I draw the line? Do I just write anything that comes to my mind and share all aspect of my life. What if I do, then you discover what a boring life I am living, will you still be there for me?

My emotion

For sometimes now I didn't update the blog and when I wanted to jot down my thoughts, the site said "my certificate is invalid". What the **** happen? I tried to rectify and I guess by this posting I've succeed. So, what's new?

As for me, everyday is a learning experiences, discoveries and life never cease to fascinate. I like to see good in everything or at least try to but the journey also unfold the evil in people and sad to say in myself too. I am an emotional person; every one in the family knows that, even Beth find it amuse when I cry in front of that "Box". I used to be discreet but when the truth was out and self acceptance came in - I have learned to let go. Now I cry like nobody business and Little Brother will turn a 'sob' drama to a stand-up comedy (sucker!!!). The truth will set you free!! Try it people, it is so liberating - just prepare a box of tissue paper then you are all set. LOL!!!!!

A month ago, I 'stepped" on the MOTH's tail. It was his Futsal night and I was out with friends. Earlier, I told him I would be done before he know it and his game normally starts late. Yeah.. we gals talked, talked... and lost track of time. Reached home, said sorry and for sure I got the silent treatment!!!

I hate the silent treatment. I've been through it for so many times but this time it was the longest - 2 weeks (now you understand why I am not the 1st in his life. Sad....) Should feel resentful, right? But I didn't want to be dragged in an emotional turmoil where it would just leave scars in my life. I didn't want to have to handle it on my own - I was tired...

Lebih dari nafasku

Ku perlukan KasihMU

Peganglah tangan ku

Berjalanlah di samping ku, Bapa

untuk selamanya.....

I can't, I wouldn't...

So, I just lifted it all to HIM....

He said 'REST'....

I let go....

I learned a bit of myself in that 2 weeks in regards to marriage. I didn’t like the feeling of not having the “support” from the MOTH. I can still do it but the whole idea of marriage or should I say being marriage is having a partner (breathing) who shares and accept each other and especially when you being married for 10 years being grumpy is not a turn-on!!!!. I do or say something hurtful, show me how you feel, go a head, argue, trash it out with me – we might not agree but go to bed in peace. I do not need a baby that suck the life out of me. It’s tiring.

The closest in the family were aware of the situation – especially mom, who understood better this time. Previously, it was always my fault and I get sermons. Thanks Mom and Lil Bro for listening and supporting. Lil Bro might not agree 100% but because I am his sister, he’s always on my side. I love you guys. Isk….isk… isk….

During that period of “silence”, we had a steamboat dinner, a short travel to Bintulu by the MOTH and a funeral. Not bad for a family unit that were in crisis!!!

Why am I sharing this? Well….

Last night, I said something that made the MOTH’s face turned and until this morning…..

Men are from Outer-space!!!!!

You might not want to totally disagree with me. I don't know whether they are the more complex creation of God or just plain#$%&^%$#@.... (please feel free to add.) I would think there is a reason why God created Eve. OK, picture this....

When God created the garden, it was so perfect, peaceful, delightful and etc. But he wanted to have somebody to care for it so He can concentrate on doing other things, so wa la!! Behold a Man. God gave him all the instructions on how to keep or trim or prune and told him that He will come to check on him once a while. So God let go of the beautiful garden.

He was soon dissapointed every time He came to visit because there were dead branches, parasites and the animals were not fed, in other words, the garden was in a mess. It would be ok if it is only the garden that was unkept but to find Adam in a more messier condition was the final blow!!! He needed help.. No he needed SOMEONE to HELP him, someone who is more organize, smart and loving........

So he put Adam to sleep, took out the bone by his side to create another human. The human was perfect for Adam. When Adam saw the human he said WOOOOOOOOW; so you figure.

Why the story?

God understood when He created Man, he will be the head the leader. He'll support the family unit so the unit can grow physically, emotionally and most important spiritually. It was meant to and still relevant today. But I do feel that they somehow fail to uphold the duties entrusted to them coz they would rather listen with their own heart instead of His voice. That's why He asked the wives to Submit to their husband because submitting itself takes a lot of courage, humility and love which sometimes men don't understand. God is perfect. He knows the female species are a stronger load. In return he asked the husbands to LOVE YOUR WIFE because I think when man loves, he is dedicated to them and will support them in every way he can. Men, it is always good to listen to your wife. You are wise if you listen to your wife. I guess that is relevant too. But still, man can never fully understand woman coz when God created Woman, the man was sleeping.

I rest my case.

PS. I like to thank Fiona for the insight....

Congrats Cindy & Paul!!!!

This is how you should start a year.... by having a wedding!!!!

So to Cindy & Paul:

Whenever there is happiness
Hope you'll be there too,
Wherever there are friendly smiles
Hope they'll smile on you,
Whenever there is sunshine,
Hope it shine especially for you
to make each day for you
as bright as it can be.


(photo: Masan Kaya)

01.01.11

I spent New Year's eve with my In-laws in kampung. Just because I dreaded going up and down the hill in darkness, I skipped New Year's eve with my family for the past few years!!! I have to admit, I did enjoyed myself - minus the hiking........

Do not ask me my New Year's Resolution; I do not fit in that category of people who sets resolutions, works toward it, achieve it then set another one every year. You see what is wrong with this picture? It is too perfect!!!!!! I do not live in a perfect world although I wish mine is. So every end of the year I mourned; coz I didn't meet..... Luckily it s not "sales' target".

This year, I'll make a small adjustment - I will have my Wishes lists and top of my list will have to be with God. I would want my life and those around me to be so fulfilling with His Grace that we would not want and in need of none other than HIM. That's the priority.

Then I still want to get rid of the access baggage that's hugging me - if I may....(the mind's willing but ooohh the flesh...)

I want to be happy, all the time....

Baby?????????